Hi guys! Finishing off my back-to-school series, I figured I’d get some advice from the pros on how to not just survive, but thrive in high school. This week I had the honor and pleasure of spending extra special time with my wonderful friends Natalie and Jill. It was bittersweet because I was excited to hang out with them, yet sad to see them go as they were embarking on a new journey…college! My favorite graduates were gracious enough to let me interview them on their high school experience, so here’s what they had to say!
- Freshman Year vs. Senior Year – What’s Changed?
Natalie: “Definitely confidence. When I think about my freshman year, it’s sort of embarrassing just to think about some of the things that I did… I was just so awkward and weird, which is okay. I’ve noticed a lot of self-growth…”
Jill: “Freshman year is a lot of acclimation, socially and academically…I was really anxious about joining clubs and putting myself out there. Also, academically some of my classes were harder than I was used to in middle school. As I progressed, I got into all of my club, my activities. Eventually junior year, I was in NHS, drama, thespian society; I was doing a lot more. Then, my senior year, I was just doing everything. I was the leader of many things. I was able to do all the things that I loved in the midst of college applications. All of high school is just a really big development period.”
Natalie: “I had three boyfriends throughout high school, and they were all very different. [In] the first [relationship], I learned a lot about making sure not to spend all my time with my boyfriend and not with my friends. It’s something to adjust to. Your first boyfriend and crush, you’re just like ‘oh my god!’, you just want to be with them all the time. You have to remember that friends are more important, honestly, because then once you break up, you have to have people to go to then. High school boyfriends are weird and fun because you don’t know what to do with yourself. Each one of them sort of shaped me as a person. I think with each one I’ve found out parts of myself that I value and things that I value in other people. I found out what I like and what I don’t like in boyfriends, it’s really helpful, and just in friends in general.”
Jill: “When I was a freshman, I resorted to more online communication than I did when I was older. It was really uncomfortable, as most of my freshman year was. At one point, I would talk to this guy online, but he somehow would just not acknowledge my existence at all in real life, which, when I look back on that, that was pretty pathetic. Little Jill was like, ‘Oh my god, that’s okay! Also, I’m too nervous to talk to him anyway…’ So that was freshman year. I’ve gotten significantly better at flirting. I can actually talk to guys I’m attracted to, and flirt with them if I feel like its reciprocated.”
Natalie: “I skipped around a lot between friends in high school. I had a pretty solid group in 8th grade, and then freshman year I sort of steered away from them and got a new group of friends, and then sophomore year a whole new group. I think each new group of friends that I had sort of changed me as a person, and now I’m happy with who I have. I have friends who make me feel good about myself, which is important.”
When asked about moving schools, Natalie responded: “That was pretty rough. I think I’m lucky that I did it when I was young, because I know a lot of people have more trouble doing it once they’re older. It gave me a new perspective, because I moved from a pretty diverse school in the city to here, so everything just gave me a new perspective. I see the friends that I had [at my old school] now on Instagram, and I always wonder what kind of a person I would be if I was still friends with them. It just gives me more to think about. I don’t regret moving here, because I love it, but [moving] just made me more open-minded as a person.”
Jill: “Dynamics change a lot. Some people develop in different directions. People are really figuring out what they like doing and who they like being with, personality types they mesh with. For instance, ….I did a bunch of music and theatre; I gravitated toward people who had the same interests, because we ended up spending a lot of time together. That was basically how I developed a lot of my friendships. Then, there were a couple that I just kept having classes with. When you’re also on the same academic level as some people…you end up in the same classes together, and that’s how some of my friendships developed.”
Natalie: “Well, we tried to have this big thing where we, not scared the freshmen, but where we were like, ‘yeah, seniors!’, senior school spirit and all that, but it was kind of shot down a little bit. It was fun still, it was weird though, because all the freshmen looked like babies. It was weird to be the oldest person in the school, and it wasn’t as much of a big deal as I thought it would be. I thought everyone would just be like, ‘seniors!’, but it was just sort of another first day of school, except we were the big kids who sort of had to look out for everyone.”
Jill: “It was a lot of nostalgia, because you know that it’s the last time you’re ever going to enter the school for the first time as a student. It’s a weird feeling. Then, there’s also the on top of the world feeling because you know you’re the big dog, and you know you’re going to get a lot of stuff because you’ve worked your way up to that point, and you earned it. Then, it’s also a mix of, ‘Oh, I need to be applying for college RIGHT NOW, and I’m not doing it because I’m putting it off.'”
- Things to Know Before Going Back
Natalie: “The one thing I’ve learned from high school about myself is just to stop – this sounds really cliché – but just to stop caring what other people think. Now that I’m graduated, I only graduated two months ago, but I don’t even really remember things that seemed so important in the past. Do what you want and don’t care about reputations or popularity, what other people think of you. Usually the people who care mostly about that end up being the least successful. Don’t peak in high school!”
Jill: “Don’t procrastinate if you don’t have to. I know that there are also some times where you actually get assigned something the day before it’s due, and you have to do it all that night, or you just don’t have enough time, but if you can, utilize your weekend time. Read the stupid books that they assign you to read in school. There is a reason why teachers want you to read the books. Unless you don’t have time, then you better have a good excuse, not just, ‘I want to go chill out with my friends so I’m not going to read.’ Oh, and join clubs, get involved. I tell this to freshmen whenever I see them. You’re really going to get a lot more out of your entire experience there; you’re going to make great friends, and it’ll look great on your college resume. So do stuff that you can talk to colleges about, because it helps!”
- Last Day of School/Graduation
Natalie: “It was sad. It was bittersweet, because I’m really excited to go to college and everything, but I’m lucky because I really liked high school. Not everyone really likes it. It seemed like it was about time, but at the same time I sort of didn’t want to leave. I was ready, but I didn’t want to fully. Closing night of the musical was more sad for me than graduation. That’s sort of the last thing that I really love that happens. So from the end of March to graduation, I was sort of like, ‘eh’, and then graduation happened, and that was just like the final, closing point.”
Jill: “The last day of actual classes…was a really weird feeling because… I also have a lot of friends that are younger than me, so a lot of them start talking about how their lives are moving for next year. In your head you’re like, ‘Oh yeah, I’m still going to do all of this to with you guys- oh…I’m not actually going to do that with you guys.’ You kind of feel a sort of out-of-body experience. No matter what you say, it’s not going to affect what happens to the rest of these people, because you’re totally diverging in two different directions. I also knew that I was never going to be in the chorus room as a student again; I was never going to be in the auditorium in a show again, at least in that auditorium.”
- Awkward High School Memories
Natalie: “I was really awkward for the first couple of years, because that point in your life is really weird.”
Jill: “My first day of freshman year, I was walking out of the school. I was leaving school, and I ran directly into a pillar. Everyone was getting mad at me for holding everyone up. I was super anxious, because it was the first day of freshman year…[I was] like, ‘Ah, I look like a dork!’ but I ended up being one anyway, so that didn’t really help. So if that doesn’t set the tone for my entire high school career, then I don’t know what does.”
- The Dreaded College Search
Natalie: “I didn’t know where to start when I first started. It’s just so overwhelming, and I just didn’t know how to narrow it down. I talked a lot with [the music department at school] about schools that they thought had a good music program. A lot of the schools I applied to, I don’t think I would’ve applied to if it wasn’t for them. My dad and I also went online and Googled ‘schools in the U.S. that have a good music program’. I pretty much went by my major at first, and which ones I knew would have a good program for me, and then narrowed down which ones I did want and which ones I didn’t want. Location was a big thing for me. There were a lot in California and other places, but I didn’t want to go that far. I didn’t narrow it down as much as I should’ve. I don’t know how many I applied to, it was like 10, it was a lot, because I had to do auditions too. That was a lot. I basically just tried to have 2 or 3 safety schools, and then 2 or 3 middle ground schools, and then I had way too many reach schools. I got into [one of my reach schools], so I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m definitely going there.'”
Jill: “I first started my search by narrowing down where I wanted to be. Then, I decided between university and liberal arts. I personally decided liberal arts because…it gives you a more well-rounded education because they require you to take classes outside of your major to graduate…universities sometimes don’t make you stray from your major that much. Not that universities are bad, but I’m a really academic person, so I like studying many things. That’s why I gravitated toward [liberal arts]. I liked my small schools because a lot of the lectures are more discussion-based lectures, as opposed to 200 kids in your freshman seminar, and then you just have to listen and then you break off. I also like having a better relationship with my professors because I know I’m going to get my Masters and I’m going to look to these people as mentors for my senior thesis… I got into 3 out of the 6 schools that I applied to. Something to keep in mind with admissions, though, is that it’s not always based off of what your resume says. A lot of schools have to keep demographics in mind, they have to keep in mind whether you’re a financial aid student, because sometimes admissions isn’t as much of a personal thing. Not taking it personally is probably the biggest struggle. Oh, and then the waiting. It seems like it takes forever even though it might only be a couple of weeks until you hear back. Trying to distract yourself is kind of important because if you start thinking about it…you start going down a rabbit hole because you haven’t heard back. So that’s college admissions.”
- To Natalie: What was the audition process like?
Natalie: “It was really stressful. Each audition was different, by the time I got to the end of them, I wasn’t really nervous anymore. It’s just stressful because you never know what they’re going to ask you to do or what they’re expecting. There’s sometimes an interview, which really freaks me out. A lot of that is like trivia, like ‘What do you know about our school? What made you apply here?’ and I’m like ‘Uh, I don’t know, I just am!’ so I didn’t like that. Yeah, the auditions at first are really stressful, but then they became really fun.”
- Did you visit any of the schools before applying?
Natalie: “Yeah! That was nice, because some of the ones I visited, I was like, ‘I don’t even want to apply.'”
Jill: “Yes.”
- Would you encourage people to visit before applying?
Natalie: “Yeah, definitely! It’s nice to go there when they’re trying to get you to apply instead of going there trying to prove yourself the first time you get there. It’s just nice to see everything and not be stressed about it.”
Jill: “Definitely, because you can usually narrow down the pros and cons of the school before you get there.”
- Advice for Current Juniors and Seniors
Natalie: “Don’t put things off. I’m so bad with procrastinating, I do it all the time, and that was really bad when it came to college applications, because I didn’t want to think about it so I didn’t do it, and then it got to the deadline and I was like ‘Shoot, I have to do all of this tonight.’ I’m really good about doing things if I sort of break it down and make a timeline for myself. I don’t know if other people do that too, but just find a way to space things out so you’re not really stressed about it.”
Jill: “Seniors – the college essay is difficult, you just have to write it. The college essay is important, and don’t discount SAT-optional schools. Just because they don’t require those scores doesn’t mean they’re bad schools, and it also puts more weight on your GPA if you’re considering that path like I did. I’m not a good standardized test taker for some reason, but I perform really well in school. Juniors – don’t get too stressed out too quickly. You have time. A little bit of college searching is fine, but you really don’t need to be really stressing out about it until your summer of senior year. Visiting colleges junior year, getting a feel for it, like ‘Oh, I like a big school/I like small’ is cool, but you don’t need to stress yourself out until a little later. Also, if you guys don’t know what you want to do yet, that’s what college is for. I am learning that because I have two large interests in two very different fields. Unless you’re going in for a specific program, then it really doesn’t matter. Eventually, you’re going to have to get some direction and get moving, but it’s okay if you don’t know what you want to do too.”
- To Natalie: How do you feel about your bestie being so far away?
Natalie: “It’s so sad. I think it’s worse because she left before me, so for her it’s not like she’s just missing me, she’s still adjusting and missing everybody. But for me, she’s across the country. I think her leaving is sort of the first big thing where it’s like, ‘wow, we’re all going to college’ and it’s going to be different next year, it’s just weird. I keep thinking like ‘oh, I’m going to call her and see if she wants to hang out, or go visit her at Dairy Queen’ but she’s not there. I want to visit her.”
- To Jill: How do you feel about being far away from your friends?
Jill: “I’m lucky because I’m only an hour and a half. It’s different, just because you know that you’re not going to be with the people that you mesh with every day. It feels weird…completely new. I barely know my roommates. If you make your college experience separate from your at-home experience, then it helps you let go a little bit because I know most of my friends will still be in my hometown when I come back on my breaks…”
- To Natalie: How do you feel about your boyfriend still having to finish his last year of high school?
Natalie: “I feel bad. I feel like it won’t be like he’ll miss me more than I’ll miss him, but I think sort of like with [my bestfriend], where I’ll be off adjusting to things and he’s sort of just stuck back here, so I feel bad about that. I’m definitely going to come back and visit him, and I’m going to make him visit me! I think just the first month or two is going to be the worst part, but then once I’m settled, I can safely come back here without getting homesick, and I can have people visit me, and it’ll be nice.”
- To Jill: How do you feel about some of your friends having to still be in high school?
Jill: “It’s like there’s so much you want to tell all of them, but some of the stuff they have to experience for themselves. I [have a] big sister complex, and I feel like if I tell people about all these things before it happens for them, then it’ll prevent them from getting hurt and making mistakes. My college admissions experience is one thing, but it’s completely different for everyone…so [I’m] kind of trying to let people do their own thing.”
- Do you know anybody already at school?
Natalie: “I don’t know anyone. I found my roommate on Facebook. There’s a group that I was part of, and then I joined another one… and she was in that one, but I didn’t message her or anything because I was too scared. But yeah, I don’t know anybody. It’s a little freaky, but it’ll be okay. I already know I’ll have one thing in common with everybody there (music), so that’ll be good.”
Jill: “Well now I do. A lot of colleges do a lot to make sure that you know people before you move in. In June they make sure that you know at least your roommate and then other people before you move. I just so happen to work with someone, she’s a transfer from [another college], so she just happens to be going to school with me but I’m the only person that she knows, because she was a sophomore so she didn’t qualify for any of those orientation programs. I have a couple of friends that I met from orientation but that’s it.”
Natalie: “Again, this is cliché, but high school really flew by. Everybody says that, and when I was a freshman, I was like, ‘I’m not going to be a senior anytime soon, they’re so big and old.’ Now I’m graduated and going to college, so it’s really weird. Just live in the moment and really focus on what you have and what you’re doing, because before you know it you’ll be graduated and not in high school anymore. Definitely just cherish everything, even the bad stuff, like staying up until 3:00 because of a test. You’re never going to get to do that for high school again.”
Jill: “Seniors – sometimes you just gotta say, ‘F it’ and turn in the paper, even though you think it’s bad. Or when you’re applying to college and you’re anxious, that’s when you just press the send button. Sometimes it helps to snap like that, because your life is not going to end if you get a ‘C’ on a paper. It’s sometimes okay to say, ‘This isn’t my best, but I’m doing it anyway.’ It’s okay to drop down a level of classes. Sometimes an honors class or an AP class is not the right fit for someone, and if you find that you are not doing well, no matter how hard you try, and you don’t love it anymore, you can drop down. If it’s causing you way too much stress and you’re just not doing well at all, there’s no reason to put yourself through that.”
I am so grateful and proud to be friends with both of these strong, intelligent, funny and beautiful women. Natalie and Jill, enjoy your time at college. I know you will continue to accomplish many wonderful and amazing things. I love and miss you! See you soon!!
Until next time…
xo, Liv
Olivia Gaidry 